Unflushable

So might as well talk about my lovely sex life right away! 🙂 (Meh. What else could I possibly do at work anyway? <shrug>)

I met Cherese online a couple of months ago. (Thanks Plentyoffish! <sigh>) You know, I just don’t know why I go for girls online that my heart really doesn’t think are right for me. Perhaps I just subconsciously like to see who may actually be interested in me, without thinking too far down the line. But anyway.. this single Mum (though her daughters don’t live with her) seemed quite interested, so I was intrigued.

We chatted for a while on the phone and when the conversation turned to sex she seemed to just.. totally loosen up. I was quite shocked by her frankness and openness. Wow! I myself am very open about sexuality and all the wonderful things that go with it, so it was quite nice to meet someone like that. What was she really like?! I just had to meet her!

Things went alright and she seemed like a nice girl. I wasn’t blown away by her but.. I thought she warranted further study. So of course for our second date she accidentally <ahem> fell into my bed and we ended up having ridiculously awesome sex. Wow she was totally into things (in bed) that I was into as well. And then came the ‘sexting’ and her naked pics certainly didn’t help make this ‘relationship’ any less sexual.

Soon it was just a sex thing and, although I do love sex, I was getting tired of this. I knew that in my heart I didn’t feel a connection with her. I did the ol’ appear-really-busy-and-then-tell-her-that-I’m-too-busy-for-a-relationship-right-now scam. That has worked well in the past and.. it did seem to this time again. And she appeared alright with this idea, so we parted ways with little pouting or arguing.

And then IN walked ‘Irene’. I met her at a nude swim. (Oh.. did I forget to mention that I’m into that sort of thing? I am!) 🙂 Now.. the dynamics of meeting up a girl and starting a relationship where the first thing you ever did was to see each other naked are quite interesting, although I won’t go into that now. Let’s just say that we had no issues being naked around each other!

So things have been going well with Irene. We’ve had very passionate sex and we’re also meeting up and doing other things too, like walking together and checking out events. She is definitely really nice and has long-term potential.

And then the other day Cherese walks BACK into my life. She wanted me to reconsider spending some non-sexual time with her as she really thought we had some potential. I would like to plead ‘momentary insanity’ here, but for some reason I decided to just meet up with her to help her move into her new place. Come on.. this will NOT be a sexual thing at all. I have more self-control than that!

Sixty minutes later we were both pulling our pants back on. Firstly, I was disappointed in myself for not having used a condom. (That’s so unlike me!! Oh man.) And secondly.. I didn’t really want to do that! 😦 Damnit. If only the stupid sex wasn’t so ridiculously awesome. Ugh! I’m so through with her. I just felt so dirty afterwards. It didn’t feel right at all.. the way it should. The way I’ve dreamed of.

But then recently I’ve been growing colder to Irene as well. Isn’t it weird how the more you get to know someone, the more their flaws (though initially cute) appear more-and-more a dealbreaker? 😦

So here I am today. Seeing a girl who, the more I meet her the less I want to meet her, and then there is the girl who just seems to be hanging on to me regardless of what I do or say to her. I don’t know what Cherese really sees in me. I just know that she’s not my type. If I can only get her out of my life now. Right now!

If I play my cards right, soon I’ll be single and lonely once again.